I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Randomize
