Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
