was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
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All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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