i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
