So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
