I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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