Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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