There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
