So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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