Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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