Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
