dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
