dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
