But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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