I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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