she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How does one acquire holy water?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
