Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
