Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
