he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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