You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
