I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
