Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
