He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
