Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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