Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
