Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
