just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
