I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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