I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
