I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
