Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
