I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
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She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
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Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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