But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
