i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
