yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
