Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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