Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
