my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
