you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You pole danced in your parka.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
