Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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