Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
