Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry amandapearl hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.

Fav 6 1100 2078
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left

Fav 7 910 3958
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.

Fav 15 1752 3236
share tweet
(310): View more from California

He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

Fav 12 4716 1107
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

you dont

(732): View more from New Jersey

i dont

Fav 7 5088 1491
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?

Fav 6 2653 1028
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

Male strippers are involved. You are coming

Fav 4 1253 594
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am

Fav 0 581 280
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"

Fav 0 35 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT