pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize