I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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