Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
