There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
