Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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