i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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