I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
