do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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