you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize