He had one of those small greek statue penises
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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