My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
