Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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