it wasn't lemon gatorade
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
