he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
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He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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