I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize