you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
