He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
