Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
operation harelip BJ is a go
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
