hotel room ftw
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
