Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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